Not my will, but yours be done.

My devotion today talked of a harpist who loved his harp and continually tuned it.  He turns the thumbscrew bringing lots of tension to the harp.  Over and over he gets shrill and distorted notes but he keeps at it until a smile crosses his face as a melodic sound arises.

"Perhaps this is how God is dealing with you.  Loving you more than any harpist loves his harp, He finds you nothing but harsh, discordant sounds.  He plucks your heartstrings with torturing anguish.  Tenderly leaning over you, He strikes the strings and listens.  Hearing only a harsh murmur, He strikes you again.  His heart bleeds for you while He anxiously waits to hear the strain "not my will, but yours be done" (Luke 22:42).  He will never cease from striking the strings of your heart until your humbled and disciplined soul blends with all the pure and eternal harmonies of His own being." 

This so reminds me of my lovely two year old Amaria right now.  VERY stubborn and wanting her way in everything we are being stretched to our parenting limits.  We try to teach her that we are in charge and that it is 'our will' that needs to be done...not hers.  It is so obvious and ugly in a little girl when she is going against our will, but as adults we have learned to sin in more appropriate ways.  We go against God's will every time we are stubborn and want the best for us in situations...it just looks a little different than Mari. 

It is my desire and my prayer today that I would strive after, "not my will, but Yours be done."

***PLEASE pray for us in our parenting of little Amaria.  It is taking alot of patience...and mine is running on low with her by 8am.  Pray that God would change her rebellious and stubborn heart and help us to be consistent, patient, and loving with her.

We made it!!!

I am finally sitting...drinking my wine.  My house is not even close to being unpacked, but we are stopping for the night.

Our amazing crew!!!

The 26 foot truck...Kyle did a great job driving.

We left Waukesha at 845 on Wednesday morning and driving went very smooth.  Kyle drove the 26 foot Penske truck pulling his car behind and I drove our van with the girls and my grandma and mom.  We had both bought each other GPS's for Christmas so we plugged in our Roanoke address and off we went.  Little did we know that entering the same address would get us completely different routes:)  At one time Kyle was in Ohio and we were in Kentucky...I stayed calm: surprisingly:)  We were on the phones with each other much of the way and planned to meet in Charleston, WV to stay over night.  Kyle arrived only 45 minutes after we did.  Not how I would have envisioned our drive, but it worked out fine in the end. 

We got back on the road by 830 on Thursday and had a beautiful drive through WV and into VA.  In and out of the mountains was a real treat.

After signing our lease papers and picking up keys we met some men from our church and a moving crew at our house.  Within an hour the truck was empty and the boxes were everywhere.  Our first job was the kitchen.  I am enjoying almost double the cupboard space.

We continue to find a place for everything.  It is a bit overwhelming but we are keeping at it.  We got about an 1 1/2 inches of snow today and the city is in panic.  Kyle and I needed to go get a washer and dryer this afternoon and 2 of the 3 stores that we went to were closed due to the winter storm.  CRAZY.  It is supposed to be 65 degrees later this week:)

The girls as we were leaving:(

Leaving Waukesha

2136 Sourwood St...VIRGINIA

None of this seems real yet.  It is great having my mom and grandma here but will be very sad and a dose of reality when they leave next week.  Please keep us in your prayers as we continue to settle in and get everything in its place.  God has been in this process thus far and we need His continued hand with us as we go on.

It all feels new!

Well, here we go.  Something new.  I was so comfortable with my little Caring Bridge...talking about only health related topics.  Many people have asked, "how will we know what is happening with the Fergusons?"  Well I hope to solve that problem and keep you all in the loop of what is happening with us as we make this huge transition in our lives.
For now I sit in a house with bare walls and rooms, with stacks of boxes up to the ceiling, and with a sense of waiting for the change.  We have had many SAD farewells.  Kyle has been at Cornerstone Presbyterian Church for 12 years now and the families there have truly been our family in Waukesha.  We will miss them all dearly. 
We pack our moving truck next Tuesday...hoping everything will fit.  Wednesday morning our hope is to be on the road at 8am and drive till about 5pm and stay overnight where ever we are.  Roanoke is about 12 hours away.  Please pray for safe travel, good weather, and patience on all of our parts:)
I wasn't planning to start this blog till we moved but last night I was reading in my devotional and I had to write a post on what the author wrote about.  I love love love when God meets me right where I'm at whether through His Word, a book, a song, or a person.  SO I was reading in 'Streams in the Desert.'  Here is the excerpt (kind of long but really good):

When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them. John 10:4

"This is intensely difficult work for Him and us-it is difficult for us to go, but equally difficult for Him to cause us pain.  Yet it must be done.  It would not be in our best interest to always remain in one happy and comfortable location.  Therefore He moves us forward.  The shepherd leaves the fold so the sheep will move on to the vitalizing mountain slopes.  In the same way, laborers must be driven out into the harvest, or else the golden grain would spoil.

But take heart! IT could never be better to stay once He determines otherwise; if the loving hand of our Lord moves us forward, it must be best.  Forward, in His name, to green pastures, quiet waters, and mountain heights! (Ps 23:2) "He goes on ahead of [us]." So whatever awaits us is encountered first by Him, and the eye of faith can always discern His majestic presence out in front.  When His presence cannot be seen, it is dangerous to move ahead.  Comfort your heart with the fact that the Savior has Himself experienced all the trials He asks you to endure; He would not ask you to pass through them unless He was sure that the paths were not too difficult or strenuous for you.

This is the blessed life-not anxious to see far down the road nor overly concerned about the next step, not eager to choose the path nor weighted down with the heavy responsibilities of the future, but quietly following the Shepherd, one step at a time.

Dark is the sky! and veiled the unknown morrow!

Dark is life's way, for night is not yet o'er;

The longed-for glimpse I may not meanwhile borrow;

But, this I know and trust, HE GOES BEFORE.

Dangers are near! and fears my mind are shaking;

Heart seams to dread what life may hold in store;

But I am His-He knows the way I'm taking,

More blessed even still- HE GOES BEFORE.

Doubts cast their weird, unwelcome shadows o'er me,

Doubts that life's best-life's choicest things are o'er;

What but His Word can strengthen, can restore me,

And this blest fact; that still HE GOES BEFORE.

HE GOES BEFORE! Be this my consolation!

He goes before!  On this my heart would dwell!

He goes before! This guarantees salvation!

HE GOES BEFORE! And therefore all is well.

J. Danson Smith

The oriental shepherd always walked ahead of his sheep.  He was always out in front.  Any attack upon the sheep had to take him into account first.  Now God is out in front.  He is in our tomorrows, and it is tomorrow that fills people with fear.  Yet God is already there.  All the tomorrows of our life have to pass through Him before they can get to us. F.B. Meyer

God is in every tomorrow,

Therefore I live for today,

Certain of finding at sunrise,

Guidance and strength for my way;

Power for each moment of weakness,

Hope for each moment of pain,

Comfort for every sorrow,

Sunshine and joy after rain."

If that doesn't hit you where you are at, I don't know what will.  Whether it be a job change, a move across the country, an unexpected illness, a terrible loss, or a stressful busy schedule- God goes before and is with us.  Rest in that today.